I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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