shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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