The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
