forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
