Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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