Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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