i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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