i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
