omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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