im gay
i know
yea but for you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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