i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
