he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
