He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
