he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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