My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize