i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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