FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
