I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize