im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
