he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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