I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
