Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
