I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
