Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
