Having a random hookup so left but love u
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
