I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
