How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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