I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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