Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
