And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
