3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
