we have pet lesbian snakes
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
