Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
