i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
