All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
