i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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