The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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