I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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