my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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