Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
