you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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