i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
