this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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