Sry I called you an 8
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
