I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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