brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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