i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize