reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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