Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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