R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
