just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
