You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
