Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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