Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i now understand why vodka
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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