Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
