Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
