He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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