someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dick very happy bro
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
