Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
