He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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